Finding the Balance
by soulsborne123
Summary: They thought they'd given up on him. She never dreamed they'd give her a chance. They never quite expected it would turn out like this. [Rated M for later chapter/s (?)]
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: Okay, wow. I got inspired by the GHHQ exchange fics! So many good ones this year! So here I am experimenting. The draft started all angsty, but my brain was all, "HAH JK YOU CAN'T WRITE ANGST FOR SHIT." So no angst. Maybe it's better that way._

 _Oh, and there's a Pride and Prejudice quote in there somewhere ;)_

 **Chapter 1**

It didn't seem too long ago when they'd both confessed they'd given up.

It seemed clear that he would never see them as more than co-workers, or maybe, if they were being really optimistic, even friends. They both agreed that he was, and probably always will be, married to his work.

But a couple of years after he'd had time to settle down, not as the fake Shibuya Kazuya (with all the secretive baggage of being an insanely powerful, world renowned psychic-with-a-PhD-under-his-belt-and-a-quest-to-find-his-murdered-brother's-body holding him back) but as _Oliver_ Davis, slowly they both began to realize that he was actually quite approachable. If he'd allow it.

And once again their hope returned.

Or maybe it never really left Masako's heart at all.

However, she had to have known that eventually things would turn out this way. Mai and Naru may not have put into words their feelings for each other as of yet (she hadn't heard anything from Mai at least), but they might as well should have.

It was _that_ obvious.

Mai had been the one to chip away at his walls after all, ever since the beginning when they all first met, and any time now it was bound to crumble under her touch.

It hurt at first. But as her relationship with Mai evolved into a _genuine_ relationship, with its up and down, push and pull mechanic that always found its way back into harmony, bringing with it a deeper understanding of each other—as defined by some self-help book she read once—she eventually came to accept the truth. She let go of her long unrequited feelings for Naru and felt completely, and perfectly, and incandescently, happy for her best friend.

One time Mai asked her if she and Naru still went out on 'dates'. Masako had laughed and tried her best to assure her friend that it was entirely platonic and mostly business, but that she'd refrain from going out with him anymore in the future if it made her uncomfortable. Mai had grabbed her hand and told her to do no such thing, that it wasn't her place to demand anything, and that she should do anything she wanted because otherwise, what kind of rivalry would it be?

She couldn't understand then why Mai still egged her on. Maybe Mai enjoyed their playful competition, but she'd had enough. She was finally content to watch them, not with envy, but with simple longing, hoping that maybe someday she'll find someone too.

But as time went on, she realized that she'd been bullshitting herself all along. (And maybe that was why Mai always egged her on, because Mai knew her better than she ever knew herself. Taniyama Mai and her ridiculous, spot-on intuition.)

What she'd done was put herself second to her best friend, learned to become a martyr by sacrificing her own happiness (unachievable as it seemed), because she loved Mai too dearly.

But the truth was: she wasn't longing to find _someone_. It was always _him_. And she didn't just watch the two of them with 'simple longing', she watched them with _envy_.

But accepting that fact meant that sometimes she hated Mai and that ate away at her chest, so she kept it locked away and fooled herself into believing her lie. And it became a lie that wasn't-a-lie, not entirely. However it didn't stop that stabbing pain on her chest from occurring whenever she found the two of them together, which in turn, caused more stabbing pain as the guilt built up. (Once, she asked Ayako if she could be having a heart attack, but unfortunately the miko didn't think the joke funny. Or maybe she didn't even realize it _was_ a joke, given that she'd said it with a straight face. But she definitely did not think it funny when Ayako insisted they rush to the nearest clinic for a diagnosis).

Getting back to the point—why did it have to be so complicated?

Masako struggled with these feelings alone for years, especially that morning when she was suddenly struck by the fact that wow, she was already twenty-four years old. And her love-life was getting absolutely nowhere.

Which is why she almost got knocked out of her chair when Mai suddenly admitted to her with no preamble, "Masako… I don't like feeling like this. And I'm really sorry but… I just need to tell you now because I think you should know. But sometimes there are days where I get so… jealous of you, that I feel that I almost hate you."

They were sitting at a cafe, on a weekend morning, for their usual brunch date.

She just finished swallowing a slice of her pancake when Mai dropped the bombshell. Reaching slowly for her tea, she struggled to keep herself steady and asked, "What in the world for?"

Mai sighed and rubbed the back of her neck. "You and Naru… He seems… and tell me the truth, ok? Are you guys dating?"

This time, Masako choked. Mai instantly rushed to her side and patted her back, handing her a glass of water. "Hey, easy!"

She spent a few minutes coughing (a waiter had come out to give them more water and asked if they needed help, much to her embarrassment), and after fighting back the urge of her body to cough _just one last time_ , she looked at Mai and as gracefully as she could muster, emphatically cried, " _I beg your pardon_?"

Mai quickly shot her hand up in a supplicating manner. "Oh, crap. Please, Masako, I-I'm sorry! I shouldn't have—It's not my place—"

"Are you suspecting he is cheating on you, and that _I_ , _of all people_ , would entertain such a thing behind your back?"

Truthfully, that hurt.

"Wha?" Mai frowned in confusion. "What cheating? What do you mean? Why would he be cheating on me, we're not even—" eyes widening, Mai suddenly grabbed her hand and squeezed so hard Masako almost cried out. "—Wait, no! Masako, I'm not like, _jealous_ in the way that I am _accusing_ you! I would _never_ think you'd do that kind of thing! I'm only jealous in the way that I envy your position! Naru and I are not—no, no! Oh, and I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do that. Did I hurt you?"

Masako could have face-palmed.

Oh.

Her shoulders relaxed and she rubbed her hand. She was thankful to hear that Mai would never think of her being despicable that way. And the way she reacted was genuinely touching and endearing. But furthermore, she was glad to know that Mai and Naru were actually not together. Yet.

And she felt that stabbing pain again.

While she was silently introspecting, she realized Mai was nearly driving herself close to hysteria as she tried to explain herself, but instead of quickly consoling her, Masako kept her face neutral and allowed it to happen. She decided long ago that she liked seeing Mai's flushed, pouty face.

"B-because, you know, most of the time he prefers your company over any of ours, and you guys just always seem so comfortable and content around each other. And also the way he looks at you, it's so gentle and I feel…" Mai gripped her chest tightly. "You know he never does it when he thinks others could see him."

Masako scoffed. "Mai, you must either be really stupid, or you're doing a roundabout way of gloating."

"What! I'm not gloating! And I'm not stupid. He really does, you know." Mai sunk back in her seat and with a bittersweet smile, murmured. "I think he's finally ready to move on from what happened with Gene. Which is great. It's time that he did and I'm truly happy for him. Ah, for you both, I should say."

"But weren't you just complaining about being jealous of me?"

"I wasn't _complaining_! I was _confessing_! That insinuates guilt, you know! So I don't _want_ to feel this way, but I do, and I'm telling you so I learn to get over it because I want to be happy for you. Like, truly happy for you. Because I really like you."

Masako began to laugh. Loudly and uncontrollably. She would have been embarrassed of her actions any other time, but right now, she only felt light and free.

"Are you okay? What? What's so funny?"

"You." She wiped the tears from her eyes and calmed herself. "That's _so_ like you, Mai. Did you know I was feeling the exact same way toward you and him and had been internalizing it all these years? But unlike you, I was a coward and decided to turn away from it because I didn't want to think for a second of envying you enough to hate you. I also really like you and didn't want this to come in between us again."

"Years! That's insane, Masako. Tell me these things!"

"Yes, I should have. I'm sorry."

Mai smiled, . "So you felt the same?" then she grinned. "Peas in a pod, you and me, huh?"

"I suppose so."

"So I guess that's out of the way and there's no hard feelings anymore, right?"

"None on my part. Thank you for telling me. I'm sorry again that I kept it bottled inside. If you hadn't said anything…"

Mai grabbed her hand again and squeezed, gently this time. "It's alright, no worries. What's important is we're on the same page again. But...Me and Naru? How so?"

"It is clear to me that Naru has feelings for you."

"Nah, that's impossible. I already confessed to him a long time ago, remember? And I was gently brushed aside and we agreed I was confused and that I liked Gene."

"I don't follow. That was a while ago, so I don't see why it things couldn't be different now. And besides, later on you realized your feelings for Naru were also real, did you not?"

"Yes… but Naru doesn't know that. So all this time, I mean, let's consider for a second that he's actually a _normal_ person-- then wouldn't he think that's too weird? Falling in love with someone who was formerly in-love with your dead twin brother. I mean, you know, supposing he'd think like a normal person and all."

"Well, supposing he is actually a normal person, then he can't help who he falls in love with." Masako sighed. "You should see the way he looks at you. He isn't very emotionally eloquent, but around you… he just seems so content and happy. You should really be more mindful of these things."

"Hey, look who's talking. That's how he is around _you_."

"Around _me_? Impossible. He has his eyes on _you_."

"Why don't we go to the data room and see if we have any actual footage because I swear to you, he looks at _you_ that way. Okay, wow. Are we the weirdest rivals ever, or what?"

They leaned into each other and giggled into their hands, which were still linked together in solidarity. And they stayed there, enjoying each others' company for a while longer.

 _A/N: Reviews?_


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Time skip. Oh, and I'm doing some character recycling from previous works (Satoshi)._

 **Chapter 2**

"I think I'm done."

That sentence, out of nowhere, was followed by an obnoxiously loud slurp as Mai finished up her drink, mostly imbibing air. Masako slowly put her book down and raised her eyes to find Mai staring at her with a defeated, but serene smile.

"Yes, you're just drinking iced-flavored air now."

Mai burst out laughing. "That was a good one! Ha-ha-ha! But no, you dummy! I meant Naru."

Masako rolled her eyes, annoyed that Mai would choose to go back to believing it would be so easy to do so, just like that. They'd been telling themselves that for years and yet two years later, after sitting in that same cafe lamenting about how much their love for him made them so jealous to the point that they ended up sometimes hating each other, they were still pining for him.

At least _she_ was still willing to admit it.

"Right," was all that she could say, tone dripping with much sarcasm.

"I know what you're thinking. You think that I think I'm over him. Well, you're wrong because I know I'm not."

Masako sighed, placing a hand under her chin and leaning forward on the table. "So what then?"

"I'm done. I just don't think I can stand to keep loving him any longer than I have already and still get nowhere. I haven't moved on, but I _want_ to move on. Even if it means lying to myself about it."

In her mind she wanted to scream that she was actually _so very_ _close_. She was practically at the finish line. She just needed to hang in there for a little bit longer. But looking at Mai's determined face made her stop in her tracks.

How long had Mai been trying? It was unfair to ask more from her.

If Mai was done holding on to that hope, then she was done. If she believed she could find happiness elsewhere, then she had all the right to seek it elsewhere, preferably from someone who could make her happy without making her wait ten thousand years for it. Mai deserved that.

Naru should have tried harder. He was so stupid.

"Fine. But know that I'll take this as an opportunity."

"Sure, but I don't think you need to rely on 'opportunities'," she replied with a shrug. Masako raised her brow at this and in response, Mai just smiled wryly. "Still don't believe me, huh? You really can't see that he has a soft spot for you?"

"I don't want to hear that coming from a blind idiot like you."

"You're even starting to sound like him! You hang out too much."

"Mai!"

"Even the intonation…"

Masako scoffed in annoyance and crossed her arms. After a few moments of silence (she had been ignoring Mai's silent snickering), she asked, "So. What made you decide this all of a sudden?"

"Ah. Actually I've been going to mixers with friends lately. One guy asked me out a couple of weeks ago. I never followed through, but he asked me out again yesterday. I thought he would have forgotten about me by now."

"Hm. And what sort of person is he?"

"He's really nice and outgoing. Just a little older than me. I think he's kind of cool."

Masako massaged her temples. "And you're serious about seeing this guy?"

"I at least want to try. We're going out for dinner tonight."

"Where?"

"We agreed nothing too fancy. Just at a _yakiniku_ bar nearby. We'll keep it casual."

"Alright. Just be careful, and don't get too much alcohol. You know you start acting stupid when you're drunk."

Mai rolled her eyes. "I know, I know. You guys just won't drop it, will you? Even Naru still brings that up during the holiday parties. Sheesh."

-000-

"She's done."

Masako watched as Naru's paused in his movement, brows furrowing in confusion.

"Who is?"

She sighed loudly and placed her fork down. "Mai."

"...Shall I name every activity she's prone to doing until I find the correct answer to your mysterious puzzle?"

Masako rolled her eyes. "With you. She's done with you. How do you feel about that now, still feeling cheeky?"

At this, Naru didn't respond. He simply went back to his pasta and only after a few minutes of silence did he ask nonchalantly, "What am I supposed to feel?"

"Probably like a failure."

A gentle smile played at the corner of his lips. "Is that how you feel?"

Masako raised her brow. "What is that supposed to mean?"

But Naru merely shrugged. "Is there something we should do about it?"

"Well, I suppose I am interested to see what this man is like. She claims he is nice. Maybe have her bring him in to the office next time so we could all meet him. I'm sure Takigawa-san and the others would be curious as well."

"It's not my place to ask to meet her boyfriend."

"He is not her boyfriend. They're still just dating to see if they could work out. And I suppose it _would_ be strange for you to ask. Very well, I'll speak to her later, myself."

Naru gently patted his lips with napkin and carelessly flipped through the menu again. "Shall we try their _struffoli_ this time?"

"Oh yes, I have been curious about it. Though, that might be too sweet for you…"

"That's fine. If I don't like it, you can always just give it to Mai for tomorrow."

Masako hummed. "Okay, I think she might enjoy this one."

-000-

Yasuhara was the last one to exit out the door. Before fully leaving, the group turned back around and with a wave, bid her another goodbye, with Mai's voice rising above the others.

"See you again later!"

She smiled and dipped her head in response.

Once the door clicked close, the office, which had been so full of life just minutes ago, descended into absolute silence. Masako glanced toward Naru's office and sighed. She headed toward the kitchenette and began preparing a pot of tea, her practiced hands automatically knowing exactly how much to use and how long to steep, even as she did it absentmindedly.

When her preparation was finished, she knocked before opening his door.

"Would you like some tea?"

Naru nodded, not even bothering to look up from his computer.

She entered the room and gently closed the door behind her. As she placed his cup on his table, she peered over his shoulder and asked, "Is it that important?" She did not wait for an invitation as she sat down on the empty seat across from him.

"The deadline is in three days."

"But you didn't even get to meet him. What was the point of inviting him over?"

"I was not the one who invited him, Mai did. Because you suggested for the group to meet him." He typed a couple more sentences in before pushing his seat back a little, sighing and pressing lightly on his eyes. "Besides, that offer was extended nearly two months ago. Things come up. I will not work around _his_ schedule."

"Fair enough."

Naru reached for his cup and took a sip, glancing at her with an incline of his head and asked, "And? What did you think? I do hope he eventually made favorable impression for himself."

"'Eventually'? You barely even met him. What impression could you have gotten from the five second introduction you graced him with?"

"Aside from the impertinence he's shown in coming to the office with barely even a notice, notwithstanding the fact that it is already so far removed from the day when the invitation was first extended to begin with, seeing him in person today for even just five seconds is more than enough time for me to form a negative conclusion." He took another sip.

"Really? Without sufficient data?"

"It's easy to extrapolate. He is obnoxious, over-confident, loud, and much too talkative. In other words, completely irritating."

"How did you conclude that?"

"His pants were far too bold."

Masako hid a grin behind her kimono sleeve. "I had no idea you hated yellow."

"I don't particularly. But he went out of his way to choose a particularly bright color out of the norm, wanting to stick out as much as possible so he can unapologetically showcase his uniqueness."

Masako laughed. "A fine psychologist!"

"Somebody ought to tell him how ridiculous it looks. Though I suppose none of his friends could ever say any word edgewise since he loves to dominate all conversation. It was hard to drown out his voice, hence why I have fallen behind on my paper."

"Wow. You hate him that much?"

He shrugged carelessly.

"Could you be feeling jealous?"

At this he gave no reply, but he held her gaze with an intense and inscrutable expression. She wondered if she'd ever find out was going on in his mind.

"Well… aside from his questionable fashion sense, he seemed like a nice man. He was very charming, knew how to carry on a conversation with everybody, and was very enthusiastic."

"So you see, I was entirely correct."

Masako ignored him. "He's an up-and-coming music producer. Apparently he and Takigawa-san have shared acquaintances. Everyone appeared to like him very much, and he seemed very attentive to Mai as well..."

The words seem to hang in the air, with nowhere else to go. Naru was apparently sticking to his conclusion, and she had nothing else to report on the matter. Satoshi-san was a lost cause.

"Why are you grimacing?" Naru asked, and with a smug raise of his brow teased, "Not so charming after all, was he then?"

"... No, actually, he really was. I think he would suit her very well. It's just that…"

When Naru made no sign of leading her on, she huffed and spat, "I don't know why, but I just didn't like him."

"I see. What will you tell Mai?"

"Should I say anything? I suppose I really should. It wouldn't be good to lie to her." Masako bit her lip. "I will tell her about my feelings, but I should probably wait until after their honeymoon phase to give them some time."

At this, Naru suddenly started having a coughing fit. Masako was both piqued and amazed at how even when choking, Naru still managed to appear graceful.

She made a motion to stand up but Naru brought up his hand and shook his head, indicating she didn't need to trouble herself on his account.

"Are you alright?"

He nodded and rubbed his throat.

Then as it dawned on her, she began to laugh. "Oh! I am talking about that period early on in the relationship where everything about each other makes you happy. Not the wedding definition and whatever deed goes along with it." But thinking she also enjoyed teasing him (especially while he was still down), she added, "But of course, _that_ kind of thing is also very likely to happen."

Naru grabbed a napkin nearby and wiped his desk. He chose not to meet her eyes as he retorted in irritation, "I didn't ask about any useless information, Hara-san."

"Of course. My mistake."

He scooted his seat back toward the table again, made a couple of clicks, and then shut the monitor off. He stood up and grabbed both their empty cups from the table and made his way to the door. Before crossing the threshold, he turned around and asked, "Do you have something else scheduled for the rest of tonight?"

"No." Masako stood up and followed him out toward the kitchenette.

He turned on the faucet and began washing the cups. "Then would you like to accompany me for dinner?"

"I thought you had that paper to write?"

He smiled wryly. "Break."

Back when they were younger, Masako wouldn't have believed Naru even knew that word existed. And now here he was, extending out dinner invitations.

Masako smiled. "Okay."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

When she returned from her final walk-around, she found the door to their base ajar. Peeking inside, she saw Mai absentmindedly staring at Naru's back as he flipped through his notebook. As if suddenly struck by a thought, Mai stood up and made her way toward him and Masako took this opportunity to slip inside, undetected.

She watched her best friend say a few quiet words to Naru, causing him to raise his brow in amusement before replying just as quietly so she could only wonder what their conversation was about.

Mai rolled her eyes, pouted, and her high pitched intonation carried her words across the room as she whined, "Naruuuu! Come ooon!"

Naru sighed pointedly, but still he shifted lower to allow her to read his notebook over his shoulders and began explaining something to her. Their faces were close, but they didn't even seem to realize it.

She would have scoffed, but Masako perfectly understood why Naru enjoyed pretending Mai was a bother. Besides, after all their years together, the group was finally able to tell the difference between Naru's legitimate anger versus his playful teasing, so Mai wasn't taking him too seriously.

She heard footsteps in the hallway and the door opened inward, blocking the newcomers from view.

Someone scoffed quietly and Ayako's voice hissed, " _Flirting again_."

John stifled his chuckles, paused, then whispered back, " _Ah, but isn't Mai-san involved with Satoshi-san, though?"_

" _Who cares? She should dump him immediately."_

" _Matsuzaki-san_..."

It seemed like John wanted to say something in response to that crude conclusion but instead, he lamented, " _It is unfortunate, I must say."_

" _It's always been obvious there's something between_ those _two. Who knew she was a natural two-timer though, huh?"_

" _Sure you werent the one who taught her that?"_

" _Shut up, Monk."_

When they closed the door, they realized she was within earshot of their scandalous conversation. Ayako, Takigawa, and John all bit their lips and collectively mumbled, " _Oh. Sorry_."

Masako could only smile back in reply, amused at their consideration, but she always knew they rooted for those two.

"I felt no more lingering spirits while I was doing my rounds, so I'm certain our purification was successful. Were any of you able to find anything else?" she asked out loud for everyone's sake.

Naru glanced back, shut his notes, and made his way toward them with Mai trailing closely behind him.

"None. I think this case is done. Great job for once, Ayako."

"You could say it without the jab, but thank you."

"Kiyoko-san feels distraught for not remembering much during her possession these past few weeks, but she will be fine. Her daughter called and said she will be staying with her for two weeks in order to keep an eye on her. She'll arrive later today, so I will stay behind and wait for her arrival."

Naru nodded curtly. "Then if that's all, let's finish packing all the equipment. Lin had already gone to fetch the van."

-00-00-00-

"What are you all doing here? The office is not open for business today."

The group made a collective sigh and shared a knowing smile. Nearly ten years later and Naru still asked that same question, on that same day, knowing full well what their answer would be and that nothing he said would have deterred them from coming.

"I've told you all before that there is no need for your attendance, especially as it fell on a weekday."

Though he had branched out to include dark shades of blue and purple to his fashion repertoire, today, he wore his trademark black attire. The rest of them, likewise, wore all black.

"I always have this day blocked out of my work schedule," Ayako said with a wave of her hand.

"I didn't book any gigs today either, so I'm not particularly busy."

"Of course I'll be coming with," Yasuhara added. "Gene-san helped us a lot over the years. Besides, this is SPR tradition."

Mai huffed playfully, "You obviously can't tell _me_ not to come. I want to see him."

"There's no point in refusing our company. We'll all go regardless," Masako finally joined in.

Beside Naru, Lin adjusted his sleeves while attempting to hide his amusement.

At being outnumbered (as he always was on this day) Naru finally broke a small smile. He nodded. "I see. Thank you all for coming."

\--

After they paid their respects, Takigawa and Yasuhara left to take a stroll around the familiar camping area nearby. Lin found himself a nice spot under a tree and began working on his laptop. She and John decided they were going to visit the old forgotten school. Meanwhile, Mai and Naru wordlessly agreed to head toward the woods together.

In this personally sacred place, everyone just naturally gave the two of them some space.

Looking back at their retreating figure, Masako couldn't help but laugh to herself and wonder when either of them would finally gather enough courage to just reach out for the other's hand. They literally only had to move an inch.

She shook her head in half exasperation, half amusement.

"Is there something the matter, Masako-san?"

"Ah, no, nothing."

Not with _her_ at least.

_

 _A/N: Ah, MaiRu. Familiar territory. Thanks for reading!_


End file.
